Pages

.




Apr 21, 2010

Spamspeare

You're writing a fiction novel. You find yourself reeling off names for your characters from your subconscious but all you come up with are the names of
big-sloppy-kiss relatives and the kids you detested in high school, either of which could potentially track you down and become your biggest fan. And we don't want that.
If you find yourself stuck for imaginative, exotic names for your characters, then look no further than your junk mail folder. Only this morning I discovered names in my spam such as Alfredo, Demetrius, Vernon, Mendieta, Daria and Juan. If you're really desperate and having one of those days - or years, then combine these with the subject matter. It may be overflowing, but your junk mail will be gushing with perpetual themes of mythical splendor [fake rolex, anyone?] unrequited love [old men soliciting as Russian brides] and elixirs for the anti-hero [need help getting yourself up?]. Here you have all the elements of a classic Shakespearean story, delivered to you daily.

It's not like these spam people are real, anyway. And if they were, well... they're harassing you already.